• JC Penny:

    We're gonna have Ellen DeGeneres as a spokeswoman for our company.

  • Homophobes:

    DON'T BUY ANYTHING FROM THERE! SHE IS A BAD INFLUENCE ON OUR CHILDREN! SHE'S SPREADING HER AIDS.

  • Obama:

    I support gay marriage.

  • Homophobes:

    OBAMA STARTS A WAR ON MARRIAGE.

  • Oreo:

    We're gonna get a little pride up in this cookie.

  • Homophobes:

    DON'T EAT THEIR GAY COOKIES. THEY WILL MAKE YOU GAY. THAT FOOD COLORING HAS GAYNESS IN IT. DON'T. EAT. IT. YOU'LL GET AIDS.